Chapter 1 Is this seat taken?

Got home at 9 last night and went to bed early like I do most Weekends lately. But let me tell you , I love Saturday’s! This Morning I’m skipping The Farmers Market and heading straight to Mariano’s. They have a BBQ Smoker Event going on and everyone knows how much this girl loves her food!

I get in line for a quick bite and pick up one of their new Spicy Italian Sausage Sandwiches. They smell Heavenly. I joke with the staff and go look for a place to sit but the outside patio is packed. I look over to a guy sitting by himself and sweetly ask “Is this seat taken”?



He looks up with the prettiest green eyes I have ever seen with a small dimple on his right cheek. Lord have mercy. I accidentally trip over the chair behind me and he laughs. “No, I was saving the chair for you” he says with a big smile on his face. I immediately turn bright red and am at a loss for words. WOW, Mr. Rico Suave where have you been all my life?

I recover with some small talk about the weather and how nice it is to sit outside and eat. As I slowly take a bite out of my  Italian Sausage trying not to look at him while I devour it but it’s too late. OMG he’s totally enjoying watching me eat. He has a big grin on his face and comments that I dripped mustard on my shirt and once again I’m utterly embarrassed. What the hell is happening to me? I’m around gorgeous men all the time. Why is this one different?

“I meant to do that” I jokingly comment and he just smiles and finishes sip the last sip of his smoothie. Was it good?” I ask. Watching you eat your sandwich or my smoothie he asks. “Your smoothie silly”. “Yes, It was very good, I got the Green Machine with extra protein and ginger.” Ginger, really? Yes, Why? Because that’s why I get. One can never have too much ginger!

He gets up to leave, so I tell him it was nice talking to him. And he says “same”. But as he turns to walk away he hands me his business card. Call me Sometime. Julian Santos. Santos Inc. Chicago, IL. “City boy?” Actually No, I was born in the Countryside of Spain. That’s a nice surprise. There’s many more surprises where that came from Bonita. Talk to you soon. Si tienes suerte I say in Spanish. He winks and walks away.

I cannot even breathe for the next ten minutes I sware. My heart is still palpitating. But I grab my phone out of my purse and send a quick text. “Thanks for sharing your table”. He sends back a quick message “Anytime Mami.” Ahhh I think I’m going to faint.

I walk around in a daze for the next half an hour deciding on what to cook for dinner but I end up just grabbing some fresh fruit and veggies and some Gruyere and crackers. I get home shortly after 1 when my phone rings. “Hello, It’s Julian, I hope you do not think this is too forward calling so soon but do you have any plans for dinner?” Well I bought some delicious cheese and fruit that I was going to nibble on while I binge watch Real Housewives. Join me for dinner instead, he firmly asks. Is this a date? ‘Yes, I’ve been wanting to try out this new Restaurant in the area, the owners are a family friend. Do you like Spanish Food?” Me, like Spanish food? Of course. Ok, feel free to wear something casual if you’d like, It’s more of a mom & pop restaurant. May I pick you up at 7? Ugh, Sure. Should I run a background check first? If you’d like he says and he giggles. I exchange my address to my clubhouse instead of my exact building and he is there promptly at 7pm.

Hello Julian, Hola Bonita. I hope you love to eat. That I do. I respond. He looks over and smiles and he gently touches my hand, then we head to the restaurant. It was only about 15 minutes away so we make small talk as he drives. His voice is so mesmerizing. He has a slight accent but speaks very articulately. I love that. We arrive at a small building across the street from a beautifully landscaped park. He gets out of the car quickly and walks around to my door and opens it. WOW! Quite the gentleman. Thank you Julian I say as I’m grinning ear to ear.

He holds the door open and says “after you” as I walk in the most quaint and welcoming restaurant i have seen in a long time. Senor, Senora. This way says the Host as he seats us at a quiet table in the corner by the window. May I get you a sample of our house wine, he asks? Julian leans over and asks me, Would you like Wine Bonita? Yes, Thank you Red Would be wonderful. The kind older gentleman gives Julian a wink and pours two glasses. And walks away. Cheers to Many more dinners like this he says, as I blush.

The waitress returns with a craft bottle with water and limes in it. For you Senora? Yes, thank you and your Senor? Si, Gracias! Tonight’s special is … and my mind just drifts off as she explains. That sounds wonderful, and he orders something in Spanish that I couldn’t translate but it sounds intriguing. A few minutes later, The Host returns with some small bites to nibble and once again grins at Julian. I am in complete awe at how amazing this food tastes. And I accidentally drop food on my lap and Julian reaches over with his napkin. Thank you, yes I’m a bit dropsy sometimes. It’s OK, I think it’s cute. Just be yourself.

Julian, May I ask you something? Always. Why have you not asked me my name yet? Simple. Because since the moment I laid eyes on you I saw the beauty of your soul so I prefer to call you Bonita. Is that ok? Yes, but in Case you are wondering my name is Jacqueline. A beautiful name for a beautiful woman. Thank you again. You are full of compliments.

We get lost in conversation about the food and the restaurant when the waitress comes over with a plate of desserts and Julian insists I try the Chocolate Gnache cake. He leans over and grabs a spoon and hands it to me. You might need this. I laugh. Quite the comedian aren’t you. No, I just saw that you dropped yours and thought that it would come in handy.

We finish the meal with a small glass of Sangria and leave with a full belly. I can’t believe I ate so much but it was absolutely delicious. Thank you for inviting me out. You’re welcome Bonita. Would you like to walk through the park for a bit before we head back? That Would be perfect. He grabs my hand and admire the stars and the music faintly playing from down the street.


Why do we go back to the “familiar”?


So now besides Music Man and I chatting again, another old friend has resurfaced. Funny thing about it is we never had sex or even kissed for that matter but we have fantasized about each other for over 6 years and hung out once. Crazy. We know all about each other too. Our families, lifestyle, business etc. etc. But he and I are both the dominant ones in a relationship. It’s hard for me to step down and hard for him to compromise. I don’t think we could ever work out. So why do we ( or I) go back to the familiar? Is it really easier? Or should I just leave the past in the past and move forward in get out of my comfort zone?

Did I mention how damn sexy these guys are???

Sunday Funday

So today’s Sunday and I wake to the beautiful sun shining on my face, the birds singing an and abundance of sexual energy and no outlet. Toys aren’t my thing. Was I wrong for closing the door on the idea of FWB (Friends with benefits)? I have a very big sexual appetite but I just can’t hop around from guy to guy, not what I’m looking for. Nor do I want to be with a guy that is seeing dozens of women. So what does an attractive, 40 something single woman do with all this energy?

Dance in the bedroom to latin music?


Work out for a bit?


Go to the pool and get a tan?


Have a nice glass of wine and read a book?


All of the above? Yes, please!

Lovably Lonely


The last few years I’ve made some major changes in my life but the biggest change came this past year or so when i removed people in my life that weren’t making me happy, helping me grow or helping me build my business. Facebook count? A moderate 700, friends in real life? Two. Wow! If I wasn’t such a positive person, I would be depressed.

Be careful what you ask for people. The truth is I feel like I’m just in this waiting period in my life. I’m building this wonderful business online by helping hundreds of people build their businesses through daily motivation & training And I absolutely love it! But I don’t have the quality friendships I’m looking for yet. It’s hard for me because I’m Ms. Social Butterfly but I’ve had to start my social group over after the divorce. So the truth is I’ve been searching but just haven’t found the group of people I care to associate with. I’ve tried female events girls out events, business co-ops, new restaurants, a few bars and even dating sites. All to no avail. Maybe It’s just a numbers game. I really don’t go out that much and if I do, I’m home by 9pm. Where on earth do I meet compatible people nowadays?

I would love to date but I’m not looking for just some quick hook up nor am I looking to get in a serious relationship. I would love to find a companion. This past weekend I contacted Music Man. He and I dated for 3 years openly and I truly loved hanging out with him but there was no romance or exchange of emotions. We’d go to dinner, watch movies and have amazing sex. And that would be perfect if I found guy #2 that I could go to business events and on fun adventures with. Probably another busy entrepreneur that had similar goals to me but was limited on time. Hence the reason for 2 companions.

I was out this weekend for a little while playing bags at a local place and met these two guys. I thought they both were in their mid 20’s but one was 29 and the other 35. We were having such a great time, chatted about what they do and all. And the bearded boy even kissed me twice because we won the game. But then he got a text from some random girl he dated previously so we all had this chat on what he should do. Of course after him telling us how drunk she got and how she was still dating her child’s father, I suggested that he just be honest with her. And tell her that he wasn’t interested. After all , he was the one that told us how turned off her was. Then like a typical Chicago Guy he did a 180 and told her to come up there and they hung out and had drinks. Guys, please don’t complain about a woman then go back to the same b.s. you say you can’t stand. It’s so unattractive. After that I left. I have no interest in being around someone that can’t make up his mind. And honestly, I’m not against anyone trying to meet their physical needs but why bother telling people how awful she was in the first place?

I am attracted to rather confident intelligent men for the most part. It’s not about his finances, it’s more about his perseverance, motivation and positive outlook on life. The biggest turn off is when you run into these divorced men than play the woe is me role. At this point in life, we’ve all had our hearts broken, cheaten on or been financially taken to the cleaners by someone we once loved. It’s time to move forward. Let all that drams go. It’s time to start living and enjoy life not acting like a heart broken teenager.   It’s almost as if these 40 year old men have reversed roles with us women. So it’s time for me to venture out and find someone a little younger who’s energetic, sexy and will appreciate getting spoiled. One nice thing about being a single woman over 40 is we know exactly what we want. And most of us don’t have time for games.